I spent a lot of time in tears while reading this book. It allowed me to really look at my own interactions with men and how terribly I was impacted when my father abandoned the family. I recommend it to all women and men who are considering breaking up. My hope is that it reminds them of the real damage they can do when one partner demonizes the other and seeks to drive them from thier daughter's life.

Reading this book was a very startling experience for me. There were many passages that I personally related to, but there were others that did not apply. I gained a lot of understanding about just how grave and deep a mark not having a father can be, even if you have already resolved that there will never be a relationship. However, I can see how some would take offense to the implication that black women must overcome damage done by absent fathers as opposed to black men taking the responsibility to raise their daughters/children. Bottom line - in a perfect world, people who commit wrongdoing against others would be strictly accountable and make amends. But in THIS world, right or wronged, you must often find a way to piece things back together that you did not break. For the careful and reflective reader, this book can provide some insight into doing such, but only for those who can identify with the author's viewpoint. Not everyone has the responses she details and to another reviewer's credit, some of the contents of this book could be used to put down black women through "blaming the victim," but if you've truly experienced being a fatherless black woman in this American culture, it's not a concept you're unfamiliar with and you can find a way to work through it.

I was moved to seek out this book when, during a black male discussion group session, it dawned on me that nearly every woman in my immediate family had either poor or non-existent relationships with their biological fathers, whether due to divorce, premature death, substance abuse, lack of marital connection to the mother or other causes. This includes my mother, two sisters, two sisters-in-law, three maternal aunts, former wife, current wife and two of my three daughters. Nearly all of them have exhibited the life-choices and behavior patterns identified in Barras' book. As Barras' book illustrates, the implications of this echo beyond isolated, individual women and are clearly multigenerational, affecting black men as well. I found Barras' book to be eyeopening and extremely helpful to me as a son, brother, husband and father seeking to better understand and relate to the women in my life. With all due respect to Mr. Mingo's less-than-glowing review (I, too, am a journalist; the last time I checked, it was a professional, not amateur, pursuit), Barras' insights, observations and personal experiences combine to make an eminently credible and thought-provoking book, with practical, realistic solutions for our mothers, wives, sisters and daughters. I bought copies for several women in my family. All did not choose to read them; those who did benefitted immensely and recommended the book to others. A great companion book to this is "More Than Sex: Reinventing the Black Male Image" by Dr. George Edmond Smith.