I highly recommend this book to anyone who is in a relationship where there is little to no communication and if you ever feel like your feelings and concerns are never acknowledged by your partner. It is an eye-opener and gives you reassurance that you are not crazy like you have been lead to believe and that your feelings (whether they are right or wrong) do count and you deserve to be heard. Good luck to you and may this book help you in finding the happiness you deserve.

After going to therapy to battle years of depression, I finally realized I was being verbally and emotionally abused by my husband. I found this book and was just blown away by the revelations. I could not finish it at the time, it was just too painful. I stopped at the part where Patricia Evans writes that your abuser will probably never change. I couldn't and didn't want to believe it. How right she was and is.

I spent over 20 years hoping my husband would change. I spent 20 years trying to fix me, change me, change how I talked to him so he wouldn't blow up, so he would be nicer all the time instead of just some of the time. I kept hoping he would grow up, see how wonderful I was, see all the ways I took care of him and listened to him and put up with him and his rages, his sarcasms, his insults and his control over our finances and our life.

When I finally started working to improve me for me, then I was ready to see him for his true abusive self. I was ready to see he was in a completely different reality from me - the "Power Over" reality Ms. Evans describes so succinctly. I realized I could not change him unless he wanted to and I also realized I could not go on this way. I asked for change - for honesty, intimacy and respect. He gave me excuse after excuse. Because I did not let up, he got a girlfriend and when I confronted him over his infidelities, he ran away. Coward!

I finally finished the book last month after I filed for divorce. I could finally read it without hiding. It still blew me away.

The book helps me now even though my abuser doesn't live with me. It helped me to understand what happened, to know my feelings were valid, to know it was not me - it was him, to start to heal.

I also highly recommend Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out.

Thank you Patricia Evans!!!

This book presented the issues and opportunities in recognizing the insidious problem of verbal abuse from the subtle to the extreme. As a recovering co-dependent who was recently divorced, it was a godsend to find this book. At numerous points I was taken aback at the examples and analysis presented because it was almost as if the author had lived in my home and observed my spouse's behavior. It was a huge relief and a great step forward in my healing process to realize that there is nothing wrong with me (aside from accepting the verbal abuse for so long). For years I've believed what I was told - that I was responsible for the negative reactions and responses of others, and now I realize that the insidious nature of verbal abuse creates this environment.

The book allowed me to see those in my environment who are toxic to my survival as a valid human being and to map a way forward.

Recommended to anyone needing to find out why they feel responsible (and unwittingly afraid that they cause the negative responses of a loved one) and want to change their life for the better.