This book is one that you will read through and learn a lot from. But, it is also a book that you will be able to pick up and find helpful hints with situations you may be experiencing w/ blending your family. I have read the book and now my fiance is also reading it. It is outlined well and you can quickly find something specific you may be looking for. I would encourage anyone who is planning on blending a family or anyone who is already in the blending process to read this.

What a great book! I highly recommend it. With this book I learned about expectations and boundaries, how to deal with an ex-spouse, how to communicate effectively with my new husband,his child and my own children. I was able to relate to the example couples used in this book. It really helped to know that other couples had the same problems and felt the same way about blending families. Blending families is a quite a challenge, but this book helped create a smoother transition for me, my children, my husband and his child. This book also helps to show what the kids are going through and that it's just as difficult for them as it is for the adults. This was a very helpful and imformative book.

The authors identify the many issues that stand in the way of a couple's happiness in blended families--intrusive ex-spouses, difficult stepchildren, a parent's close relationship to his or her biological children, to name just a few. Wisdom and Green constantly encourage readers to nurture the "stepcouple" relationship in the face of these challenges, and provide practical advice about how to do it. The tone is authoritative and hopeful, and the book includes interesting anecdotes from anonymous stepfamily members. "Stepcoupling" is a very useful and well-organized book that will help stepparents and their spouses grapple with many stepfamily challenges. As a parent in a family with "his," "hers" and "ours" kids, I personally found the book both inspiring and overwhelming. It's an important reminder about how hard we must all work in blended families to balance everyone's interests and needs.

I have specialized in providing professional education and therapy to stepfamilies since 1981. I have been a stepfamily researcher since 1979, a stepgrandson, stepson, ex-stepfather, and stepbrother, an invited Board member of the Stepfamily Association of America, a contributing editor to 'Your Stepfamily Online,' and the author of six family-relations books focused on high-nurturance relationships and families.

I recommend 'Stepcoupling' to readers who want an interesting, readable, well-organized, well-illustrated overview of common *surface* stepfamily stressors. I do NOT recommend this book to people who seek to avoid or resolve the common *core* problems that cause most stepfamily (remarital and co-parenting) stress: See...

http://sfhelp.org/10/problems.htm

The authors are a veteran therapist and writer, and seasoned stepfamily co-parents. However - like most lay and clinical stepfamily authors (I have read over 350 books and articles since 1979) - Wisdom and Green do not acknowledge or examine why most readers will be unable to follow their 'common sense' suggestions - e.g. '...you must figure out how to make everyone feel like an insider' (p. 69) ; '...learn to let go of what you can't have and appreciate what you do have' (p. 159); '...set out to understand and support your partner' (p. 222).

There is value in this upbeat book for stepfamily newbies and general students. However, its practical (problem-solving and avoiding) value is severely limited by major omissions including:

1) mates' and ex-mates' significant psychological wounds;

2) blocked grief in adults and kids, and how identify and to reduce it;

3) mates' and ex-mates' unawareness of five key topics: (a) human personality formation and function, (b) high-nurturance families and relationships, (c) effective communication skills, (d) healthy 3-level grief, and (e) stepfamily realities and norms.

4) needy, love-struck, unaware partners choosing the wrong people to re/wed, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time; and...

5) little effective stepfamily help (classes, counseling, support groups) available in most communities and the media.

For more perspective on this review, see:

http://sfhelp.org/11/choose_bks.htm

In "Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family," Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green focus on strengthening the bond between spouses after the newlywed reverie has worn off and they wake up after the honeymoon to find themselves in a stepfamily. They encourage newly-married couples to focus on their relationship and carve out couple time. They also urge couples to draw boundaries and find one-on-one time to spend with the kids. Real stepfamily situations are considered and discussed by the authors and provide practical advice to thorny situations. Unlike a lot of self-help books, the authors realize that one standard answer doesn't always work in every situation and they recommend a variety of options for some situations. Questions guide the reader to ponder his/her own situation but without forcing you to stop turning pages for too long.