Presently, this is "THE" book that provides a practical description of the "distancer-pursuer" pattern of interaction, which is the most common pattern found in distressed marriages and exclusive committed love relationships. It tells you what you need to do to produce positive changes in your marriage or relationship if you mate or partner refuses to work on the problems in it, and it goes into some of the 'why' you need to do so. I'm a professional life skillls coach who specializes in working with 'soloing' spouses and partners, especially those who need help in getting their "walkaway" husband or wives, or boyfriends or girlfriends, back. This book was one of the foundation stones of the strategies, tactics, and techniques I teach them to use. It's a very good book!

this book gave me ideas for changing my own behavior in ways that were not only healthy for me, but also resulted in my partner making changes that made our relationship much more satisfying to both of us. The changes it reccomends were not comfortable for me to make, but Deluca's book gave me the willingness to do things differently. If, like me, you are always trying to get your partner to give you more (more time, more attention, more love) this is the book for you.

This book was very helpful in helping me to understand what was happening in my marriage, and of all those read would have been the most likely to save it had not the marriage been doomed. It is one of the few to address the difficult concept of Distancer-Pursuer pattern in relationships in a non-sexist manner and the only one to suggest concrete solutions. It has many self tests and exercises which help apply the book to your own personal situation.