Sacred Passage: How to Provide Fearless, Compassionate Care for the Dying this question feed

asked by officefan on November 16, 2006 12:07 PM
Working as an emergency room nurse, Margaret Coberly came in contact with death on a daily basis. However, it wasn't until her own brother was diagnosed with terminal cancer that she realized she understood very little about the emotional and spiritual aspects of caring for the terminally ill. To fill this gap she turned to the unique wisdom on death and dying found in Tibetan Buddhism. In this book Coberly offers sound, practical advice on meeting the essential needs of the dying, integrating stories from her long career in nursing with useful insights from the Tibetan Buddhist teachings. In the West, death is viewed as a tragic and horrible event. Coberly shows us how this view generates fear and denial, which harm the dying by adding unnecessary loneliness, confusion, and mental anguish to the dying process. Tibetan Buddhism focuses on the nature of death and how to face it with honesty, openness, and courage. In this view, death is not a failure, but a natural part of life that, if properly understood and appreciated, can offer the dying and their loved ones an opportunity to gain valuable insight and wisdom. Coberly argues that the Tibetan Buddhist outlook can be a useful antidote to the culture of fear and denial that surrounds death in the West and can help caregivers become more fully present, fearless, honest, and compassionate. Sacred Passage highlights two very practical teachings on death and dying from the Tibetan Buddhist tradition and presents them in clear, nontechnical language. Readers learn about the "eight stages of dissolution leading to death," a detailed roadmap of the dying process that describes the sequence of physical, psychological, and spiritual changes that occur as we die. Coberly also presents the "death meditation," a contemplative exercise for developing a new relationship to death—and life. The book also includes a lengthy, annotated list of recommended readings for added guidance and inspiration. Topics include: How the terminally ill can experience emotional and spiritual healing even when they can't be cured Why Western medicine's relentless focus on curing disease has led to inadequate care for the dying What to expect during the dying process How our fear and denial of death harm the dying Techniques to help caregivers promote a peaceful environment for the dying and their loved ones How to meet the changing physical and emotional needs of the dying Helpful advice on what to say and how to behave around the terminally ill Registered nurses can earn Continuing Education Units (CEUs) by passing a written test based on this book. For more information, see http://www.shambhala.com/sacredpassage.


Reviews

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This book was such a surprise to me. I didn't realize how much I needed to hear what was in it. I think all nurses, everywhere,
would get something out of what this book talks about. By the title it seems like it's a book for people who are dying, but it seems just as useful for anyone who cares about people whether they are dying or not. I am so glad that another nurse friend of mine gave me this book to read.
reviewed by mattisboss on November 23, 2006 12:27 PM

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I have a friend who is dying and I am afraid to visit him because I don't know how to act or what I am not supposed to say. I bought some other books about death and dying and Sacred Passage was also suggested. I didn't think I would like it because it has some Tibetan Buddhist stuff in it and I am a Catholic. But, anyway, I got it and liked it better than the other ones because it gave me some actual ways to act and also told me that if I don't know what to say I am not obligated to say anything, really. That was such an eye opener for me. I definitely recommend this book to anyone who is forced to be around a dying person and feals afraid, like I am. This book gave me hope that I would be able to do it. I even bought two more copies to give to people for presents.
Thank you to the author for helping me so much.
reviewed by redryder on November 25, 2006 12:59 AM

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This is a very useful book and a quick read for those inclined to the buddhist approach to dying. However, if the dying person is of another faith or faithless..it has limited applications for the dying person and will be mostly useful to the care-giver. Also, application in the dying person's life of these ideas is not a "quick fix", so if you are not the full-time care-giver, it is difficult to find a place to wedge such new ideas into the dying persons paradigm.
reviewed by vcedwards on November 29, 2006 2:25 PM

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Helpful, authentic expression and excellent writing. A very
worthwhile book.
reviewed by localhost on November 29, 2006 3:50 PM

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My six brothers and sisters and I are sharing the care for our parents who are both in their early 90s. We know they do not have a whole lot longer to live and we have been discussing our feelings and lack of experience about death and dying. My brother brought home Sacred Passage and read it and then we took turns reading it. The author explains in such a simple way that it is natural to be afraid of death because we never talk about it with each other. But then she also offers so many suggestions about how to get stronger about facing death and about seeing that during dying there is a pattern that we might be able to observe. The Tibetan Buddhist part of the book really makes sense even though we are Christians. I like the way the author uses that Buddhist psychology to give us ways to be more help to our parents. All of us liked this book, and I think it would be good for anyone in a similar situation. The book makes a person feel that they will be able to face death after all.
reviewed by tubi on November 29, 2006 7:37 PM

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