This book is a must for any parent who feels frustrated and "Dr. Phil's" techniques don't work for. I feel like I have a whole new understanding about people's personalities in general. I even bought a copy for my sitter. I am not a failure after all!

I am really enjoying this book. I bought it to see how to cope better with my SPIRITED 5 year old. What I really discovered in the book was my own spirited personality. I highly recommend this book for anyone who has a child who, as the author says, is more.

If there is one thing parenting has taught me, it would be that everything starts with myself and my husband (my parents, his parents, etc.). We can only teach what we ourselves have learned, and we should never give up learning more and more about ourselves; constantly growing and bettering ourselves, because this is the only way our children will be all they can be. Most of us have never been taught how to deal with anger...we were taught to supress it, or to "get over it", or sometimes it was just beaten or slapped out of us because it was unacceptable behavior. But how? How can we repremand our children for feeling feelings which are completely and totally normal? We have to learn the tools to teach them HOW to be angry. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka gives us these tools in this marvelous book. It is a book I will read again and again and again. It takes time to implement tools, but my child is worth this time. He (as well as so many other children who are misunderstood) should never be thought of as "bad" or as some other authors book titles describe them "difficult", but as Ms. Kurcinka puts it so well by using the beautiful term "spirited". Lets all stop using such terribly negative labels...the ones we were taught as children...the ones which we sometimes don't even think of as negative until we really think deeply about them. Let's start using the tools and uplifting labels Ms. Kurcinka gives us in this inspiring book of hope and positivity. It will make anyone who reads it a better parent...and in effect it will make raising our children a much more pleasent experience, not to mention allowing them to develope into more secure, healthy adults. Simply put...Ms. Kurcinka teaches us about who we are individually and why we are the way we are. She gives us concrete tools to use to deal with our emotions (something other books only skim over...because no one really seems to know or have a handle on these themselves). My wish is that all parents read this book. It is absolutely invaluable.

This book is "worth it" for the brief section on recognizing that sometimes one may be trying to raise the child one wishes one had, or assumed/imagined one would have, or it would be easier on one if one had -- rather than the kid one actually has. This book helped me realize that she and I have very different temperaments (which is wonderful) and that this is at the root of many of the conflicts and disappointments we've had in her four years of life so far. It also shed light on why my relationship with my own mom continues to be so fraught. My all-time favorite books (and movies, poems, tv shows, etc.) are ones where I am stunned to recognize myself in them somewhere. My experience of this book definitely puts it in that category! I also find useful Kurcinka's idea that thinking about how the "more" traits encompassed by spiritedness are things we positively value in adults can transform my interaction with my child. It reminds me to stop wanting to change her by lowering her intensity, sensitivity, perceptiveness, persistence and energy.

If you have a "More" child (more emotional, more energetic, more enthusiastic, more easily angered, etc) you know how tough it can be to deal with it. This book is a pretty good guide to get you started and help you guide the child through those emotional currents. It's not easy to parent a spirited child but neither is it easy to BE a spirited child. Kurcinka's book helps provide a lot of guidance.