I have had the pleasure of meeting Stephen Glenn at a number of seminars and look forward to taking the Developing Capable People workshop so that I may lead parenting classes for our school district (check the research on test score improvement in school districts providing families with these skills). My only "complaint" is that I did not have access to this material while raising my own children. I DO raise 32 a year and have used the seven steps for developing capable people as the basis of my philosophy for teaching. Over the last 19 years there have been but a handful who did not respond to methods suggested in this book - two were diagnosed as having severe psychological disorders. It is NOT a cookie cutter solution to raising children, nor is there any inference that parents don't DO for their children. It is about HOW we do for them - it is a guide to help you hear yourself and THINK about how and what you communicate to your children. I don't subscribe to any philosophy that is extreme in either direction, and I never felt that message related in this book. What is HAS done is remind me that my job is to help a child see himself/herself as capable - to develop intrinsic motivation. It is a HUGE job today when so many young people see themselves as lacking in academic skills. While their parents undoubtedly love them, they are often ill equipped to effect change. This book provides such a well written, easily understood narrative that one cannot help but come away with a better sense of "how to" and a set of skills that will be useful, even if only a few steps are implemented. It is a book I give to every new parent as a gift, one that I will continue to purchase with my own money for ANY parent who struggles and is concerned about his/her child's well being.

If I were emperess of the world, it would be required reading before taking a new baby home from the hospital (and certainly one for young single mothers choosing to raise their babies). I'm willing to step out and even suggest it be made mandatory for all educators too! Don't miss this book! I am about to purchase my 50th plus copy.

This book was recommended reading for a behavior management class that I took for my Master's Program. At the time I was teaching, but had no children. This book totally changed the way I approached discipline in the classroom. Since I wasn't a parent at the time,I would often lend out this book to parents of students and very often never got it back. I just kept buying more copies because I really felt that this book was something that all parents should keep and refer back to through the years.

I am now buying another copy for myself and my husband. We have 4 young children and I'm feeling I need a "refresher course" and I'm hoping my husband will read it so that we can be on the same page when we are discipling the kids. You might consider buying two copies, one to keep on your nightstand, and another to lend out to your friends. It's really that great!

The first 25 pages or so make the case that today's families are more dispersed and isolated than they were pre-WWII, that our nation's growing affluence has led to self-indulgence, and that technological advances have dramatically increased isolation within nuclear families.

The result of this shift is "American children at the onset of puberty (who) face and incredible smorgasbord of opportunities with a deficiency in capabilities. Self-confidence, self-validation, self-discipline, good judgment, and a sense of responsibility are all lacking..."

The authors state that there are "four critical factors that demand our attention" networks, meaningful roles, on-the-job training for life, and parenting resources. Parenting resources is scarcely addressed at all, and networking is given just a couple of pages.

The bulk of the book is about how to provide meaningful roles and on-the-job training for life by providing an apprenticeship in thinking and problem solving. The authors discuss how to understand and strenthen a child's perceptions/thought processes, how to communicate effectively with your children, and how to strengthen various life skills in a meaningful, real-life way.

For me, this book is a real paradigm shift. I've read many books focused on a single aspect of this book - books about affluenza, family meetings, social skills, natural consequences, anxiety, parenting, even books about RDI (Relationship Development Intervention for Autistic Children, which is VERY MUCH in sync with this book), and so on. This book ties all of those facets together and shows how they are related and why they are important to equipping kids to deal productively and effectively with life in the real world.

As I read, I realized that I often step in for my children in the name of expedience - pouring juice for them because I don't want them to spill it, choosing clothes for my daughter because what she chooses doesn't always match, regluing the notes on music flashcards I was making because my 3 year old slapped them on in a very crooked fashion. Now I am considering the unspoken messages of "you're incompetent" that my words and actions unwittingly send my kids. I am consciously trying to take advantage of real, meaningful situations that come up to help my kids perceive themselves as capable.

And that is just one small gem in this book.

The most helpful part of the book is the examples of families putting the author's ideas into practice in specific situations. I personally am having difficulty putting some of the theory into practice - I would have loved examples of how parents can coach elementary aged kids through a massive screaming fight, for example.

All in all, one of my favorite books about raising children.

The bottom line on this book is that you should stop doing everything for your children. Coddling can cripple a child for life. That's a pretty easy premise to accept. However, some of the promises made by this book are not so easy to accept. The authors seem to imply that parents who follow their time-tested strategies can bring all children around. They act as if all children are cut from the same mold and will behave reasonably when treated reasonably. Unfortunately, this isn't necessarily so. On the other hand, regular family dinners and meetings probably won't hurt, either.