Written in 1979, People Skills is a classic in the field of communication skills. Like many people, I decided to read this book after it turned up on a must-read list for consultants and business people. The book offers a useful and practical guide to someone looking to improve their effectiveness in interpersonal situations. It is broken down into Listening Skills, Assertion Skills, and Conflict Management Skills.

The problem that this book has is shared by many books of its kind. There are several really good points and ideas which need to be padded out into a longer form. People Skills was quite a bit longer than it needed to be, and this detracted from its overall strength.

I found it an interesting compliment to Getting To Yes (Fisher & Ury), which is still my favorite book on conflict resolution and negotiation. Many of the same points are covered, but from a different point of view.

Most books give you 2-3 really good nuggets of insight, hidden in a dry prairie of "heard-it-all-before." Such is the case with People Skills. Most of the content is obvious - have a pleasant demeanor when listening, reflect what you've heard, and so on. Not very insightful.

However I did walk away with a few insights. For instance, as you're reading this review, you may be thinking "Do I agree with this reviewer?" That's the first barrier to effective communication. We all have biases, we all filter what we hear to fit our biases, and we need to learn to turn off that filter - at least momentarily - and truly listen to what others are saying, without judging it too quickly. That insight alone made this book a worthwhile read.

There are other insights, supported by interesting research, especially in the early parts of the book. Later parts of the book begin to feel cumbersome, especially the entire section on negotiating conflict, which is based on a multi-step process that can easily be capsized if the person you're confronting is uncooperative.

Overall - good book, a couple good insights, but over-long and toward the end becomes less practical.

This was part of my "assigned reading" when I first became an IT consultant. It does a fantastic job of providing practical guidance to anyone who interacts with people (i.e., all of us). There are numerous example dialogues and many gems of advice.

From the time you are born until you reach the ultimate age, there is always some new form of communication that is used. From cooing at 2 months to blinking your eyes as an Alzheimer's patient, there is a deliverance of a speech unspoken at any age. Understanding the semantics behind verbal and non-verbal communication is a learned sentience that is observed as a universal response, whether accepted or not.

This book would be great to hand out to supervisors who think they know how to handle people but lack the skills to understand them. I believe this book is an excellent source to outlining and deepening skills to conspire the understanding of socialistic values. From grunting to expelling thoughts, there is a more constructive way to relaying thoughts or intentions. I really like how the book deals with the psychological aspects of communicating: knowing when, how, where, and what is said/done. How emotions do take the lead in situations, where the actual facts take a back seat. We are led by our emotions which do effect our productivity in relationships, work, the ability to listen, our health, our mentality, etc.

Some people may think it is a bit unrealistic to approach people the way Robert Bolton suggests; however, you have to get creative on using his techiques towards your own approach with issues. It is ideally a very informative review of learned behavior with a twist. It is not generalized or complicated to understand. Lack of communication effects many facets of our lives which can lead to different emotions that in turn lead to unhealthy minds and bodies. This would be a great book for a course study beginning in the 7th grade, where minds and bodies begin to ruminate. Remember, communication is a social behavior, not an inherited trait. It can be altered and changed.

Excellent book discussing practical methods and techniques to improve communication and ultimately relationships. Anyone can practice the assertion and conflict resolution methods. Emphasis on building long term relationships that quick fixes. Bought it about a month back and have already started using the techniques and seeing positive effects. I'd recommend for anyone looking to take his/her relationships with colleagues and loved ones to the next level.