Partnering: A New Kind of Relationship 
asked by costa on November 28, 2006 8:43 AM
Famed therapists Hal and Sidra Stone show readers how to turn their relationships into true "joint ventures" - ones in which partners balance their need for relationship with their need for individuality, relinquish judgment and criticism, improve their decision-making and communication abilities, celebrate their sensuality and sexuality, and include children in their lives without sacrificing their own relationship. The Stones' greatest contribution has been revealing the many selves that make up our personalities. In this book, they show how those selves impact our relationships, and they offer both general concepts and specific tips that will help couples of all kinds succeed.
Reviews
0%
0%
A very good book for couples. Focuses on "win win". good information. Helps put relationships back on track.
reviewed by mountaindew on November 29, 2006 7:29 AM
0%
0%
I'm working through PARTNERING, and it's awesome.
Hal & Sidra Stone's main premises are:
1. An individual is made up of several selves... primary selves and discarded selves.
2. We attract into our lives people who 'carry' our discarded selves.
3. We manifest different selves depending on context, and what self our partner is presenting to us.
4. These selves interact differently with each other.
5. Being aware of which self is communicating (in both you and your partner) clears the way for compassionate and unloaded commuication and loving.
6. Being presented with your discarded selves is a gift to allow you to reclaim them, and operate from a place they call 'the aware ego'.
7. Integrating these selves gives you balance, and allows harmonious relationship.
I wrote 'S' a long email last night, trying to offer her a glimpse of the turmoil within me. Parts of me reallllly love her and want her. Other 'selves' within me are irritated with her, angry with her.
I wanted her to see that this is NOT a simple, cut-and-dried case of 'we're not a good match'. Cos we ARE a good match. We've got powerful stuff to teach each other and learn from each other.
It's weird. I'm about a quarter of the way through the book, and it's like a weight has been lifted off me. I've been trying to be perfect for 'S'. And I've kind of expected and demanded that she be perfect for me.
Now, I'm sitting here feeling grateful to her for showing me the parts of myself that I need to get back in touch with. Cos those discarded selves she 'carries' are the bits I threw away through co-dependence and abuse as a child.
If you want to start cleaning up your relationship, I seriously recommend that you get this book.
Hal & Sidra Stone's main premises are:
1. An individual is made up of several selves... primary selves and discarded selves.
2. We attract into our lives people who 'carry' our discarded selves.
3. We manifest different selves depending on context, and what self our partner is presenting to us.
4. These selves interact differently with each other.
5. Being aware of which self is communicating (in both you and your partner) clears the way for compassionate and unloaded commuication and loving.
6. Being presented with your discarded selves is a gift to allow you to reclaim them, and operate from a place they call 'the aware ego'.
7. Integrating these selves gives you balance, and allows harmonious relationship.
I wrote 'S' a long email last night, trying to offer her a glimpse of the turmoil within me. Parts of me reallllly love her and want her. Other 'selves' within me are irritated with her, angry with her.
I wanted her to see that this is NOT a simple, cut-and-dried case of 'we're not a good match'. Cos we ARE a good match. We've got powerful stuff to teach each other and learn from each other.
It's weird. I'm about a quarter of the way through the book, and it's like a weight has been lifted off me. I've been trying to be perfect for 'S'. And I've kind of expected and demanded that she be perfect for me.
Now, I'm sitting here feeling grateful to her for showing me the parts of myself that I need to get back in touch with. Cos those discarded selves she 'carries' are the bits I threw away through co-dependence and abuse as a child.
If you want to start cleaning up your relationship, I seriously recommend that you get this book.
reviewed by onthemic on November 29, 2006 11:18 AM
0%
0%
I have studied and used the concepts developed by the Stones and described in "Partnering" for several years. If I had been taught these skills in my youth I may not have married my ex-wife, if we had still married I think we would still be married, and if the divorce still occurred it would have been a far healthier process. These concepts and tools are making a fundamental shift in my relationships and in my growth as a person. I will be using this model of self-understanding and relationships for the remainder of my life.
These concepts also provide tools for truly valuing diversity, putting yourself in the other persons shoes, and giving the space for others to be all that that they can be. These principles have profound leadership implications.
These concepts also provide tools for truly valuing diversity, putting yourself in the other persons shoes, and giving the space for others to be all that that they can be. These principles have profound leadership implications.
reviewed by bigchad on November 29, 2006 12:32 PM
0%
0%
After looking at several different relationship books and finding only the "same old thing", I was in awe when I picked up this one. I'm going through a divorce and this book really helped me to understand what went wrong in our relationship and what I need to pay attention to in my next relationship.
It has completely changed my outlook on relationships and makes me think about and understand my reactions to people and events within my previous relationships. I can not give this book enough praise! Thank you Hal & Sidra!!!!
reviewed by costa on November 29, 2006 5:30 PM