Parents in Pain: Overcoming the Hurt and Frustration of Problem Children 
asked by jazzman on November 9, 2006 1:38 AM
A police car rolls up in front of your house--with your son in the back seat.A voice on the phone says your daughter is all right but won't tell you where she is--and then hangs up.A wallet disappears from your dresser and you're sure who took it--at least, somewhat sure.Many parents face problems beyond their ability to cope. John White ofers comfort to parents of children with severe problems--alcoholism, homosexuality, even suicide. Though he gives practical suggestions, this is not a how-to manual for making rebellious children behave. Rather the author helps all parents deal with their own guilt, frustration, anger and sense of inadequacy.White first asks, Why has the child rearing become such a complicated task? He looks to common sense, science and the Bible for an answer. Next he focuses on the parent-child relationship itself as trust erodes, arguments arise and the need for professional or legal counsel develops. Finally, he cautions us to avoid parenting techniques which emphasize pragmatism at the expense of what is moral and just.A book of comfort and counsel to parents in pain.
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John White has written a moving biblical and personal account for parents of prodigals. As he explains, it is one thing to counsel "tough love," it is yet another to experience "rejected love." His book helps with the practical implementation of tough love while sensitively empathizing with the personal pain of broken family relationship.
Reviewer: Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., is the author of "Soul Physicians" and "Spiritual Friends."
Reviewer: Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., is the author of "Soul Physicians" and "Spiritual Friends."
reviewed by orla on November 15, 2006 8:47 AM
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As a parent who had experienced many of the pains addressed by Dr. White in this book, I felt grateful -- grateful that he had so simply and so eloquently described many of the emotions that my husband and I encountered several years ago. As a current graduate student in Counseling, I found this resource one which I would happily share with Christian parents who find themselves dealing with these issues. The book presents hope and practical advice that parents so desparately need. It serves to remind them of a principle that at the times is so easy to forget -- you can't live your child's life for them, and you aren't really helping by always rescuing them from the consequences of their actions. Finally, I appreciated Dr. White's gentle and non-critical use of scriptural references and applications. He accomplished his goal, at least with this reader, of reminding me that ours is a God who is able and very willing to help us when we are in pain and that the help He gives may not be that for which we prayed, but it will always be that which is indeed the best.
reviewed by scanner on November 21, 2006 11:36 AM
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This is a growing group of people, who as parents find some of their children in such positions as they need to take those "Hosea/Gomer" steps in Hosea 2 of abandoning them until they hit bottom and realize "Gee, it was better with my first husband."
This is solid book with good advice to help such parents in such difficult scenarios have the reassurance they're not the only ones; have the encouragment to tough love it out, and also, neve give up on their kids or themselves as loving parents.
Have used this book professionally in counseling, and unfortunately, in my personal parenting as well. Excellent, blessed resource.
reviewed by runabout on November 24, 2006 7:48 AM