I have a very independent 14 year old daughter who does not respond well to being told what to do. Using love and logic strategies works really well with her. If I ask her what her plan is for homework tonight, she gives me a reasonable plan and does it, which is much better than yelling at her all night long to get it done. This works in a lot of different situations. For example if I ask her what the consequence should be (before hand) if she doesn't get her room cleaned when she says she will, there is a lot less arguing about doing her room or about the consequences if she does not get her room clean.

Google the words Foster Cline and Attachment Therapy, and be prepared to lose your lunch. Happy research!

This book helped me put a lot of parenting into perspective. I found that the take-home messages of the book are easy to remember. The key one for me was, "Who owns the problem?" What a concept. The premise is that rescuing my kids from the consequences of their actions is a lousy way to teach kids responsibility. The section on grounding of kids was great too. This book is making me question practically every aspect of my knee-jerk parenting responses. Highly recommended.