Open to Desire: Embracing a Lust for LifeInsights from Buddhism and Psychotherapy 
It is common in both Buddhism and Freudian psychoanalysis to treat desire as the root of all suffering and problems, but psychiatrist Mark Epstein believes this to be a grave misunderstanding. In his defense of desire, he makes clear that it is the key to deepening intimacy with ourselves, one another, and our world. An enlightening tapestry of psychotherapeutic practice, contemporary case studies, Buddhist insight, and narratives as diverse as the Ramayana and Sufi parables, Open to Desire brings a refreshing new perspective to humanity's most paradoxical emotion.
Proposing that spiritual attainment does not have to be detached from intimacy or eroticism, Open to Desire begins with an exploration of the dissatisfaction that causes us to both cling to, and fear, desire. Offering a new path for traversing this ambivalence, Dr. Epstein shows us how we can overcome these obstacles, not by indulgence or suppression, but by learning a new way to be with desire. Full of practical advice, this is a lasting guide for finding peace both in ourselves and in our most highly charged interactions.
BACKCOVER: Advance Praise for OPEN TO DESIRE
"Mark Epstein's Open to Desire is a masterpiece in his unique genre of combined Buddhist, psychological, and poetical insight. It teaches us how not just to fear and repress, but to re-channel and harness the most powerful energies of life toward freedom and bliss. I heartily recommend this work."--Robert Thurman, Jey Tsong Khapa Professor of Buddhist studies, Columbia University; President, Tibet House, US; author of Infinite Life
“Open to Desire shines a bright beam of wisdom into an ever-confusing, ever- seductive realm. Mark Epstein, using his rare gifts of insight, brilliantly shows us a way through the confusion of craving to the treasures of intimacy and clarity hidden within our yearnings. The Buddha and Freud meet the Kama Sutra in this essential guidebook for anyone with a healthy lust for life."-- Daniel Goleman, author, Destructive Emotions: A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama
“Mark Epstein writes with the keen insight of a skilled psychotherapist, the compassion of a long-term meditator, and the gift of a compelling storyteller. He courageously explores the true nature and potential of desire, which we depend on for our very connection to life. This book is an outstanding new view of an emotion at the core of our being..”--Sharon Salzberg, author of Faith: Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience
“At last a book that doesn't shy away from the troubled topic of desire. Mark Epstein has written a beautifully crafted, intimate account of the struggle to come to terms with the contradictory yearnings within us. An illuminating, original and provocative work.” -- Stephen Batchelor, author of Living with the Devil
"A beautiful book. Heals the split between psychotherapy and spirituality by showing positive aspects of desire common to both. Mark Epstein's portrayals of the goodness of desire and its gaps move us in ways that heal and enlighten, always sensitive to who we are and who we can be."--Michael Eigen, author of The Sensitive Self and Emotional Storm
Reviews
This book brought enormous amount of peace to me during difficult times.
I am a neo-Buddhist and for the past two years, I had been working on the "cessation of attachment" to objects. I felt that I was almost there.
Then I met a remarkable woman who simply swept me off my feet with her beauty and intelligence. As it happens in life, I will never be able to "have" her. All my self-training on "cessation of attachment" were forgotten. I was missing her so badly that one evening I developed symptoms of a heart attack and had to be admitted in the hospital.
It was at the time of despair and heartache when I found this book. This book has afforded my the best psychotherapy I could ever imagine. This book has taught me to separate my desire from craving. I have learned to preserve and not feel guilty for my desire and fight, to some extent, defeat the craving I had for my friend. I have learned to acknowledge and respect my friend as "whole person" and not only the perspective of her that I see.
I recommend this book to every man and woman of this earth.
Since the late 60's, most of my friends have been Buddhists or Yogis, and in the early 70's I noticed how deadened many of them were becoming, as they worked inwardly to kill their desires. You can watch over the years as meditators lose vitality as they cultivate a detached, dissociated, suspicious attitude toward the flow of life. Then they become fascinated by and dependent upon authoritarian "masters" to tell them what to do.
Lorin Roche, author of Meditation Secrets for Women and Meditation 24/7.
If you are already studying Buddhism, you might find this topic of reconciling worldly desire with "The Path" to be interesting and possibly useful. While this topic is a good one, this particular book is a flop.
First of all, the message of the book was ambiguous. But the most interpretation I have of it is this: Use desire to gain insight; the insight you gain gives you an orgasmic level of bliss, yada yada yada. This is great - but it's already been said elsewhere! (and more elegantly!)
This book contained nothing new related to Buddhism, except a sexy repackaging. The book is completely redundant insofar as learning more about The Practice. It gives no clear advice on how to further one's practice. (aside from having Tantric sex with someone (assuming you can find a partner)... in which case there are plenty of other books on that topic. )
If you know very little about Theravada Buddhism, you still might think Epstein's take on desire is interesting. However, like I said above, you can just read any other book about mindfulness, insight meditation, or Theravada Buddhism, and you will find that material much more clear and useful. Suggestions to you are "Mindfulness in Plain English" (which you can cut-and-paste for free off the Internet!) and "Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness."
In short, it's an interesting topic but a bad book. Epstein is vague, rambling, seemingly contradictory, and, if my interpretation is correct, completely redundant. He does not build on Buddhism, nor does he challenge it: He simply sexes it up, "eclecticizes" it, and resells it in a diluted and confusing form. (I think Epstein had good intentions, but I think he was just thinking out loud in this particular book.)
If you think I've missed the point of the book, I would REALLY like to know what I missed. I had high hopes going in! What is the thesis? How does it differ from or improve existing Theravada instruction?