I consider this my textbook for recovery. All types of infidelity are aptly described, and the common traits in the cheating spouse, the affair partner and the betrayed are well illustrated. The research-based nature of the book is informative, comforting and easy to comprehend. It did not feel like just another therapist giving their two-cents on the subject. I plan on giving this book to friends and family members getting married. In fact, it should be required reading before the ceremony. The book is long, but don't let that intimidate you. As a betrayed spouse, I could hardly put it down until I learned all I could, and put myself on the road to recovery, even if not immediate reconciliation. If you can't afford a therapist, I doubt you could do better than this guide.

Glass has some good suggestions on how to rebuild your marriage after an affair, however she made some very troubling comments in regards to affairs with ex's and/or "Old Flames". Some of the comments almost seem to encourage affairs with Ex's. Her are a few examples:
1) Page 34 - If the old flames reconnection results in marriage these unions are highly SUCCESSFUL? How can she describe an adulterous affair that destroys a marriage and family SUCCESSFUL? 72% of rekindled romances stay together. If they were 1st loves, the stay-together rate is 78%.
2) Page 130 - "There is a 60 % divorce rate in 2nd marriages...unless you are marrying an old flame from your youth. The chapter notes state that the old flame marriages had a 72% stay together rate.
Chapter 15 talks about giving up and the steps to take to have a smooth divorce. Not a good chapter to read if you are trying to save your marriage.

Oh boy...Was I a mess after I found out about the affair. I couldn't stop obsessing about it and the anger stayed at the boiling point at our house. He was too immersed in shame to reach out and help. We wanted to save our relationship but weren't sure how. We couldn't manage a civil conversation about anything and I wanted to know every detail. I happened across a magazine article about cheating that suggested this book. I went straight home, ordered it, paid for overnight shipping, and started reading as soon as it arrived. It definitely helped me regain my sanity and helped us talk in a constuctive way so the healing could start. He wouldn't read the book but I shared the advice it gave and we both followed it. We've succeeded and strangely enough, are probably doing better now than before the affair. If you've been the victim of an affair and wonder when the pain will start to subside, I strongly suggest you order this book. When it arrives, put everything else aside and just read and read and start to regain your sanity.
Good luck to you!

I was quite impressed with this book, it is alot to get through, but focuses on the root of the problem and encourages self analysis. In effect giving you some pointers to be your own therapist, and work through the current siuation into the next phase of life after infidelity. I only give it four stars because it can be a little repeatative and doesn't focus much on the effects on and ways to deal with your children at this tough time.