Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Surrogates: Answering Tough Questions and Building Strong Families 
asked by scanner on November 6, 2006 5:22 AM
Ours is an extraordinary time for anyone straight, gay, single, or coupled who’s ever wanted a baby of his or her own. Many aspiring parents now depend on some form of assisted reproductive technology (ART) to fulfill their dreams of starting a family. But as Dr. Diane Ehrensaft points out, parents who conceive with the help of a donor or surrogate often struggle with unforeseen questions. How can you help the child understand where he or she fits into the family and into the world? Exactly who is the mommy, and who is the daddy? How will grandparents and other family members react? What will the donor or surrogate have to say about it? In Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Surrogates, Dr. Ehrensaft addresses these topics and guides readers through a host of other concerns that may arise before, during, and after assisted conception. Provocative, compassionate, and immediately practical, Dr. Ehrensaft's far-ranging inquiry raises issues no one affected by ART should ignore.
Reviews
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I'm not sure what the ambivalence, and negative reaction, of the previous reviewers was based on. Or what the more recent reviewer was actually looking for that didn't get resolved. I find this a very insightful book that presses parents and others to investigate the emotional issues they're likely to encounter over time as the parent of a donor-conceived child. Especially the very real emotional issues of a couple in which one might consider the other more "his" or "hers" based on biological ties; cultural beliefs that many of us grow up with that need to be addressed with donor-assisted conception. Certainly to think that these issues won't come up, or are better left undiscussed, does a disservice to the child and the couple (or single parent, which is discussed as well).
I agree that it's a wide-ranging book, which might seem a bit daunting at times, particularly for those looking for practical solutions rather than discussion. But since most clinics don't discuss many of these mental health concerns with clients, I think this is a highly valuable book that prospective parents can read in the privacy of their bedroom as they contemplate and consider the choices ahead.
As author of "Choosing Single Motherhood," I know many women make conscious choices about becoming a parent. I think the kind of issues raised in Ehrensaft's book are honest, real and important for anyone to keep in mind when pursuing parenthood in non-traditional ways.
I agree that it's a wide-ranging book, which might seem a bit daunting at times, particularly for those looking for practical solutions rather than discussion. But since most clinics don't discuss many of these mental health concerns with clients, I think this is a highly valuable book that prospective parents can read in the privacy of their bedroom as they contemplate and consider the choices ahead.
As author of "Choosing Single Motherhood," I know many women make conscious choices about becoming a parent. I think the kind of issues raised in Ehrensaft's book are honest, real and important for anyone to keep in mind when pursuing parenthood in non-traditional ways.
reviewed by redapple on November 11, 2006 10:09 AM
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This book does not seek to answer any questions because as far as the author is concerned she has all of the answers. Her agenda quickly becomes clear in the first chapter, and while she is entitled to her opinion, she should not misrepresent it as unbiased source of information. Additionally, I have never found a piece of writing more insensitive and plainly cruel to those of us who are reproductively challenged. Consequently, not only did the book not answer any of my questions or address my doubts, far from helping reach a resolution, it only kicked me while I was already down. I don't recommend this title to anyone facing fertility issues.
reviewed by dataworld on November 22, 2006 5:54 AM
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Nothing that great. The writing is very inclusive of EVERY situation, so it's gets a little confusing. You have to kind of pick through the stuff that applies to your situation...But when you do find the stuff that applies to you, it's pretty good stuff.
reviewed by shagdag on November 26, 2006 11:32 PM