Momfidence!: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting 
asked by shakeonit on November 12, 2006 10:59 PM
Lose the Guilt, Love Your Instincts
If the latest “breakthrough” child-development theory, parenting technique, or child-appropriate diet makes you worry or groan (or just want to lie down for a nap), it’s time to make way for Momfidence! Paula Spencer, parenting expert and mother of four, provides refreshing, down-to-earth proof that most of the business of raising confident, healthy children involves nothing more complicated that trusting your instincts, using common sense, and above all, hanging on to your humor.
Momfidence! is:
•Using “perfect” only to describe such wonders as a ripe peach, a cloudless day at the beach, or a husband who does diapers and dinner. . . It has no application whatsoever in describing motherhood.
•Recognizing that there are appropriate times and places for lying, yelling, threatening, bribing, and saying “I told you so”
•Sending yourself to time-out—preferably with chocolate and/or your spouse
•Being completely amnesiac about the day’s exasperating transgressions when you peek in your children’s bedrooms at night and watch them sleep
Based on her popular Woman’s Day and Parenting columns, Momfidence! explains how obsessing less and winging it more can keep you sane—and your kids healthy and happy. It’s a hilarious look at “perfect motherhood” that cuts parents a long-overdue break by reminding us that we’re not the amateurs here—we’re all experts, too.
If the latest “breakthrough” child-development theory, parenting technique, or child-appropriate diet makes you worry or groan (or just want to lie down for a nap), it’s time to make way for Momfidence! Paula Spencer, parenting expert and mother of four, provides refreshing, down-to-earth proof that most of the business of raising confident, healthy children involves nothing more complicated that trusting your instincts, using common sense, and above all, hanging on to your humor.
Momfidence! is:
•Using “perfect” only to describe such wonders as a ripe peach, a cloudless day at the beach, or a husband who does diapers and dinner. . . It has no application whatsoever in describing motherhood.
•Recognizing that there are appropriate times and places for lying, yelling, threatening, bribing, and saying “I told you so”
•Sending yourself to time-out—preferably with chocolate and/or your spouse
•Being completely amnesiac about the day’s exasperating transgressions when you peek in your children’s bedrooms at night and watch them sleep
Based on her popular Woman’s Day and Parenting columns, Momfidence! explains how obsessing less and winging it more can keep you sane—and your kids healthy and happy. It’s a hilarious look at “perfect motherhood” that cuts parents a long-overdue break by reminding us that we’re not the amateurs here—we’re all experts, too.
Reviews
0%
0%
I Loved the Book! I've got 3 of my own and it's like she'd been living with my family the last 10 years, except my son will only eat hotdogs instead of chicken nuggets. She helps to straighten out the true picture of the normal/average family today. We aren't all micro managing our childrens lives, we're just trying to make it day by day without anyone getting hurt. I'm putting her web-site on my favorites list and giving her book to my sisters for Christmas.
reviewed by linda on November 26, 2006 1:22 PM
0%
0%
I throughly enjoyed Momfidence!: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting. This book is heart-warming, hillarious, and honest. This book reveals a much needed side to child rearing in our current, "What else can we do to fill up our kids schedules and challenge them more." society. It is a quick but well worth the time read! I give it 5 stars!
reviewed by jan1975 on November 29, 2006 4:05 AM
0%
0%
LOVED this book. Ms. Spencer covers all the bases of day to day mothering with insight and wit. I recognized myself several times and laughed out loud. I even read a few passages to my husband!
One final comment: I didn't find the book to be anti-attachment parenting. Rather, it is anti- "connecting all the right dots + lots of stress = perfect mother." This book is a great reminder that there is no such thing.
One final comment: I didn't find the book to be anti-attachment parenting. Rather, it is anti- "connecting all the right dots + lots of stress = perfect mother." This book is a great reminder that there is no such thing.
reviewed by versed on November 29, 2006 3:45 PM
0%
0%
As a victim of reading way too many parenting books, I loved this book. I actually have stopped reading parenting books, parenting magazines, etc. But decided I'd make an exception for this book.
It's a great antidote for the current paranoid parenting that has overtaken us poor mothers. I love the chapters on television, nutrition, preserving memories, etc.
On the other hand, I think the book is somewhat hypocritical. She puts down other parenting advisors for pushing their views on others. Yet she is very pushy about her own views. There's this tone of relax, relax. Don't worry what they say. Feeding your child oreos is not such a big deal. Not filling out your child's baby book is not such a big deal. Don't worry about your child watching lots of TV. Oh, but do make sure you sit down and have dinners with your family!! Why? Just as Lucky Charms for breakfast won't ruin your child's dinner neither will eating dinner at different times ruin a family.
The author also seems very anti-attachment parenting. And yes I do think us AP parents deserve some kicks in the butt. We have pushed our beliefs on others at times. I think we do deserve some of the blame for this mother-guilt that is going around (although mainsteam parents also push their beliefs on AP parents and cause guilt/anxiety). But she insults AP practices and I don't think that is neccessary. As long as your family is relatively relaxed and happy, I see nothing wrong with health-food diets, long term breastfeeding, and co-sleeping. By attacking/insulting these practices, I think she alienates a large audience.
In her short paragraph about breastfeeding, she says that every mother needs to try breastfeeding, but doesn't thnk they need to continue to the full year. She makes one of the common jibes about kids stopping befor they are old enough to walk around and ask for it. Why does every mother need to try to breastfeed? If her children can eat sugar-cereals for breakfast and that's okay for her family. Can't it be okay for a mother to not breastfeed and just use formula the whole time? Maybe she has good reasons not to try. Why pressure her? Why give her that guilt? What happened to promoting Momfidence? And I breastfed my child very long-term. Why should I be ridiculed for that? Our family made that choice and we're happy with it. It worked for us!! I have no regrets. But I don't think every family needs to do what we did.
I think every family should realize that the choices they make are not as big a deal as all these parenting "gurus" make it out to be. In the scheme of things, whether you never breastfeed or breastfeed for 5 years is not a big deal. Whether you child sleeps in a crib or in bed with you is trivial. All the anxiety we get about making these choices probably causes more damage to the child's psyche than the actual choice.
I thought "Monfidence" would help put an end to the parenting wars that are going on....but I don't think it does. I think the book is not very different from other parenting books. Just one very opinonated person pushing her parenting beliefs on others.
It's a great antidote for the current paranoid parenting that has overtaken us poor mothers. I love the chapters on television, nutrition, preserving memories, etc.
On the other hand, I think the book is somewhat hypocritical. She puts down other parenting advisors for pushing their views on others. Yet she is very pushy about her own views. There's this tone of relax, relax. Don't worry what they say. Feeding your child oreos is not such a big deal. Not filling out your child's baby book is not such a big deal. Don't worry about your child watching lots of TV. Oh, but do make sure you sit down and have dinners with your family!! Why? Just as Lucky Charms for breakfast won't ruin your child's dinner neither will eating dinner at different times ruin a family.
The author also seems very anti-attachment parenting. And yes I do think us AP parents deserve some kicks in the butt. We have pushed our beliefs on others at times. I think we do deserve some of the blame for this mother-guilt that is going around (although mainsteam parents also push their beliefs on AP parents and cause guilt/anxiety). But she insults AP practices and I don't think that is neccessary. As long as your family is relatively relaxed and happy, I see nothing wrong with health-food diets, long term breastfeeding, and co-sleeping. By attacking/insulting these practices, I think she alienates a large audience.
In her short paragraph about breastfeeding, she says that every mother needs to try breastfeeding, but doesn't thnk they need to continue to the full year. She makes one of the common jibes about kids stopping befor they are old enough to walk around and ask for it. Why does every mother need to try to breastfeed? If her children can eat sugar-cereals for breakfast and that's okay for her family. Can't it be okay for a mother to not breastfeed and just use formula the whole time? Maybe she has good reasons not to try. Why pressure her? Why give her that guilt? What happened to promoting Momfidence? And I breastfed my child very long-term. Why should I be ridiculed for that? Our family made that choice and we're happy with it. It worked for us!! I have no regrets. But I don't think every family needs to do what we did.
I think every family should realize that the choices they make are not as big a deal as all these parenting "gurus" make it out to be. In the scheme of things, whether you never breastfeed or breastfeed for 5 years is not a big deal. Whether you child sleeps in a crib or in bed with you is trivial. All the anxiety we get about making these choices probably causes more damage to the child's psyche than the actual choice.
I thought "Monfidence" would help put an end to the parenting wars that are going on....but I don't think it does. I think the book is not very different from other parenting books. Just one very opinonated person pushing her parenting beliefs on others.
reviewed by dignified1 on November 29, 2006 4:55 PM