Making Children Mind without Losing Yours, repack this question feed

asked by vegaswinner on November 4, 2006 1:27 AM
As the title indicates, Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours is a book with a friendly, lighthearted approach. Author Kevin Leman (The New Birth Order Book) speaks directly from his experiences as a father of five and a practicing psychologist. While you won't find specific studies or statistics here, you will find straightforward, practical suggestions that often get right to the heart of troubling situations.

Leman's technique, which he refers to as "reality discipline" is based on a particular passage from the Bible, and his book is liberally sprinkled with his religious beliefs. These references will make this book a particular favorite for some readers; his stance that parents' authority comes directly from God is a fundamental principle of his text, and some parents may prefer a less evangelistic approach. That said, it's hard to disagree with suggestions such as "train yourself to be a good listener" and "give your children direct eye contact." Nearly every suggestion is coupled with a real-life example of the behavior in discussion, making for an easy read, and every chapter ends with questions labeled "to review and apply" as well as a short section of concepts to put into practice. The section dealing with divorce suggests you make a list of the chapter's suggestions you find difficult and create a plan to implement them. Leman assumes that anyone reading this book can find the time to create such plans themselves, and doesn't provide his readers with any step-by-step charts. If you're not up to creating your own action plans, you may prefer a more detailed form of help than this book offers. --Jill Lightner


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As an avid reader of parenting books (I have about 12 now), it's nice to find a system that truly is easy to implement. Positive and loving discipline is the message and it makes sense. No finger pointing here, just a lot of common sense and positive and useful perspective for raising respectful, responsible, loving, and hopefully happy children. I got this book on tape so I could listen to it at the gym or in the car which is great for busy moms who may not have time to "read" a book!
reviewed by shawn on November 5, 2006 6:55 AM

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This book has been such a huge help in my home. I am so much more confident in my parenting skills, and my 2 year old showed immediate improvement in her behavior. I can now discipline my child knowing that I will get results, that I'm doing what's best for her and that I'm not damaging her little psyche.

I am not religious, but the religious references didn't bother me a bit. In fact, I can say that I was impressed with how Dr. Leman tied his religion into his discipline methods.

This book is worth every penny, and I only wish I had bought it sooner. I see people all the time now having difficulty with their children, and I just want to say "Buy this book!"
reviewed by mountaindew on November 28, 2006 5:38 AM

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I love parenting books because they are always full of good ideas, even if you don't necessarily agree with everything in the book. THIS book, however, was fantastic. I'm a pretty easy-going person, so as long as their safety wasn't at risk, I would generally allow my kids to have way too many liberties.

Dr. Leman describes pulling the rug out from under the little buzzards. If a child begins whining about dinner, then simply throw dinner down the garbage disposal and excuse the child from the table.

Yikes, that seemed a little harsh to me, but I felt as though my little ones had way to much control over me, so I gave it a try. WOW. It worked.

He also discusses the necessity of making your relationship with your spouse a priority. The best gift you can give your children is a strong marriage! And they will feel more secure going through life with parents who show love and respect to one another.

I'm a huge fan of Kevin Leman now. I can't wait to read what else he's written!
reviewed by vegaswinner on November 28, 2006 7:44 AM

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This book really shocked me. I had to read it for an education class and just found it to be so beneficial. His suggestions are called "Reality Discipline." This is a Christian book by a Christian author...some people don't pick that part up all the time. I love the way in which he backs his material up with scripture and uses real-life examples from his own family. He's pretty funny too! What a great buy!
reviewed by flow on November 29, 2006 7:15 AM

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