How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You 
asked by ragtop on November 8, 2006 4:46 AM
Hard to believe anything other than luck and maybe fate, never mind a book, can make someone fall in love with you, but oddly enough, Leil Lowndes seems to offer the advice that can do just that in How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You. The sensation of falling in love comes from a chemical secreted by the nervous system, phenylethylamine (or PEA, as Lowndes calls it, as in "Scientists tell us only PEA-brained people fall in Love"), and the trick is to trigger the manufacture of PEA in your potential love partner, giving him or her the sensation of being in love. Lowndes offers 85 techniques for "Hunters and Huntresses" to capture their "Quarry." Much of what the book offers is common sense--the power of eye contact and compliments--but it's presented in a new way and with such detail that it seems that it can't help but work.
Following some of her advice will have you treading that fine line between nice and obsequious, and at times, this book may sound offensive to some, advising the reader to play what may sound like games. Lowndes is aware of this, and she offers some caveats, but still it is hard to get past advice such as, "Show him you're smart, but remember--not too smart" or "Watch your Quarry's reactions to outside stimuli, then show the same emotions." In all fairness, Lowndes doesn't play favorites: her advice to men and women can be equally appalling. Yet, the relaxed style of this book, presenting solid wisdom with a bit of scientific support, makes this book appealing, and, who knows, maybe it will make you more appealing, too! --Jenny Brown
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I'm a guy who read this book without skepticism. It was refreshing to read a book so grounded in science. And I personally didn't worry about sacrificing my identity. I just wanted a girlfriend and fast to break the pattern of going back to a previous girlfriend.
6 months later and I'm coming out of the driest spell I've ever had in my single life. I can tell you that for me, this stuff really *doesn't* work. I wondered why when date after date went awry despite doing all the right things (listening, being sensitive, reinforcing their beliefs, pretending to be enamoured with them).
The answer is that the Leils method makes you about as convincing as a candidate in a presidential debate. You second guess yourself, analyse your partner. You may not say anything wrong, but when you try to say something right, it sounds wrong anyway because it's not backed with genuine conviction. And in the end you add up to being a sychophant, or probably better put, a girlie man.
What girls want and what they say they want are two different things. They say they want a kind sensitive man who'll listen to them and believes in them. But they really want someone who's self-confident and believes in himself.
So my advice is to do the opposite of what this book suggests. Be yourself. Go into dates with no objective other than having fun. Talk about your passions, without censoring yourself. Most girls want a guy who really believes in something and can stand on his own two feet.
6 months later and I'm coming out of the driest spell I've ever had in my single life. I can tell you that for me, this stuff really *doesn't* work. I wondered why when date after date went awry despite doing all the right things (listening, being sensitive, reinforcing their beliefs, pretending to be enamoured with them).
The answer is that the Leils method makes you about as convincing as a candidate in a presidential debate. You second guess yourself, analyse your partner. You may not say anything wrong, but when you try to say something right, it sounds wrong anyway because it's not backed with genuine conviction. And in the end you add up to being a sychophant, or probably better put, a girlie man.
What girls want and what they say they want are two different things. They say they want a kind sensitive man who'll listen to them and believes in them. But they really want someone who's self-confident and believes in himself.
So my advice is to do the opposite of what this book suggests. Be yourself. Go into dates with no objective other than having fun. Talk about your passions, without censoring yourself. Most girls want a guy who really believes in something and can stand on his own two feet.
reviewed by james58 on November 12, 2006 5:46 AM
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I love this book. It's well written, a joy to read, and the advice is dead on. I don't know if it can lead to lasting success (can anyone guarantee that?), but it certainly sets the pace for a better relationship in a no-nonsense approach to love. I had a boyfriend who had read this book and he was the best one I ever had! I totally recommend it to anyone -- male or female-- looking to improve communication and the overall dynamic in their relationships.
reviewed by tsu on November 17, 2006 5:09 PM