I just came across this on Amazon. I read it over 10 years ago after a break up when I knew I didn't want to do the same old "sour grapes, who needed him" bull. I remember loving the book and trying it all, taking the higher road, feeling the grief and really trying to be his friend and supportive. I really gave the book a shot and 10 years later I am still married to my best friend in the world, the guy I read the book regarding. I can't attribute it all to one book but this is a great start at getting clear, taking responsibility and growing up emotionally. I recommend it and therapy and know that the right relationship will reveal itself if you do the footwork. I did find this book at the exact right moment and if you can get past the title I think it has a lot to offer.

If you care less, you are never going to get the meaning of this book and will definitely give up on trying to get your lover back, and in effect, won't. I was recently engaged and my lover called it off and said I wasn't "the one" for her. Applying Dr. Harris' principles has helped turn things the other direction.

This book and his teachings emphasize on true love. No relationship will ever work if it is not based on true love. Since buying his book, I have had two phone consultations with Dr. Harris that have been tremendously insightful.

Before you read this book you have to ask yourself some questions such as: Am I willing to do whatever it takes? And: Am I willing to unlearn everything I've ever been taught about love and relationships that is disempowering me from being with the person I love and having a fulfilling relationship with that person? And: Am I willing to have the patience and make that effort to love that person back into my life? Do not think this book has anything to do with being dependent, the method a lot of us try to use to manipulate our ex into coming back to us; which is why most of us believe that it's impossible to get our ex back. If you believe or want to believe in true love, this book will open it up to you!!!

My own opinion is that if you're willing to make these changes, you will be able to open your mind and "get" the principles Dr. Harris is teaching. The problem for most people when they hear these concepts, (my opinion based on observation) is that this approach and claim is entirely new because we live in a society that doesn't really personify this approach so these methods are rarely seen nor implemented. Most people have been dealing with a breakup with the person they love so ineffectively, they believe it's impossible. The purpose of this book is to manipulate your dependency and your inability to make a relationship continue (If that is what you desire) and empower you to love and if you truly love your ex, this book will show you what to do. If you are just a needy and dependent person, you will find out through this book. If you are just angry, because your ego is wounded that won't help you either. If you want to be with your ex because you love him or her, this book will enrich your thinking and empower you to succeed. But you have to manipulate your dependency first. True love isn't forceful or demanding, so you will know how not to behave in ways that are deterring your ex right now. If you still have doubts, I would encourage you to see Dr. Harris' online videos first before making the decision to order his book. Go to http://www.ulaleo.com/video/topframe.html to see him interviewed on television. I think you will find his insight fascinating and helpful. The power is in you and implementing these principles to make this work for you. Remember this saying, whether you think you can or you can't, you're right! Open your mind and buy this book if you really love your ex-lover. He or she is worth it!! So are you!!

Well, I will start out by saying that this book did not work for me when I was reading it. (I must say I am glad it didn't now, but all the same..) I think as many reviewers have noted, that this book would be great for people (especially men...sorry guys, but it is true) who actually have contact with their ex. But for those of us average folks who, when an adult relationship ends, don't see our ex any longer on a regular basis, the information is useless for the purpose described by the book's title. However, I feel that were I in a troubled relationship, this book would be great to read for advice to prevent it from ending. It was very insightful to read and learn after the fact, the things that I did which may have ultimately doomed the relationship.
So in summary, it is good to read if you A) See your ex-lover regularly, B) Are in a failing relationship you want to save, or C) Just need to reflect on your relationship habits to try and revise your behavior. But don't get it hoping that it will magically bring your ex-lover back to you otherwise!

If you are looking for techniques to use to get your lover back this is a horrible book to learn from. It is my opinion that there are only about five pages worth mentioning in this book. The rest of it seems to be filler pages and stories about other couples.

The best thing about this book is that it helps you gain some control over what seems to be an experience much like driving a car over a cliff at 100 mph while wearing a blindfold.

I first read How to Get Your Lover Back at the on-set of a doomed relationship. It worked then, though I eventually realized that I didn't want the relationship. I read it again a few years later to save a relationship that very well feels like it will be a forever one. Both times, the guidance provided in this book prevailed.

Not only is it a book about how to regain your loved one's affection, but also provides guidance on how to truly develop as a person capable of a long-term relationship. It helped me understand how my behavior needed to change in order to gain what I wanted in myself and for my relationship.

Instead of begging and pleading, Harris coaches the reader to modify destructive behavior patterns, those typical "needy," co-dependent behaviors that only push your loved one further away--like competing with a new person in your intended's life, caving in to calling or contacting your loved one, and creating negative experiences when you do communicate, to name a few topics discussed.

Instead of making those common mistakes, you will evaluate the healthfulness of the relationship, grow to understand the concept of giving 100% love, and gain a perspective on how to modify your behavior so that you are a stable, secure person who is the picture of what your lover wants and needs.